Equinox, Spring, 2024 (Belated)

Shuffling the calendar deck, on top of being in midst of travels, seems I missed this year’s spring equinox: it was the 20th. So I am a day late. Now two.

As it happens my mind is rather scrambled and I had to think about where I was a mere 3 months ago. Seems I was in Tirana, arriving about a week before. Stayed there 2 months, had some screenings organized by Iris Eliza, who had invited me there to screen just All the Vermeers in New York and I’d suggested more, which turned into a long stay, screened five films. Had thought to shoot something, and did do a little bit of video recording, but the mystical chemistry for making a film just didn’t materialize. Tirana was interesting, but visually did little for me, and cinema being, at least for me, a very visual thing, that put the kabosh on that. I painted, thought, wrote some poems, walked around a lot thinking, and had a good time. My view at this belated juncture of my life is there is no useful point in not having a good time, so I make sure I do in one way or another. While there a friend of Iris’ took me on a short one day trip into Montenegro, to some lovely towns utterly destroyed by tourism. Now a frequent refrain for me

jan 25

talking to myself
they’d been bottled up
don’t know why
tossed into an ocean
a chain of words \ sounds
one to the next
washed ashore ten thousand miles away
where no one understood a thing
one thought to say
but it was talking to yourself
in italian
stai zitta

Jan 26

it was turtles all the way down
the lady said
atlas carrying the load
the whole damn globe
with an endless trail of chelonian reptiles
one on top of the other
right to the end

with these wisdoms
prometheus handed us the torch

and in ours
we chose to burn it all down

While in Tirana a dear friend of mine died in Portland, Stephen Taylor. He had been in 6 of my films, more than any other collaborator with me, and in ways difficult to explain, he was instrumental in other things – like the book of poems, Port Angeles: Elegy for the Strait, and the next one, The Corona Verses. One of my films was shot in his home in Port Angeles, and a most recent one, Tourists, in which he acted as well, was partly shot there and in his offices. I had been planning with him to stay in Portland this summer. He’d lost his partner, Todd, nearly three years ago to a quick and vicious cancer, and the pain was something he could not shake. He was an important person for me, and I loved him.

Leaving Tirana, with its visual meh, I flew to Venezia, there to stay a month on a Emily Harvey Residency, a little plum for aged artists and intellectuals. The place I was given to stay in (no rent, but no help getting to/from or stipendium while there – just a place to rest my head) was a hop skip and a jump from intense tourist area around the Ponte Rialto. Selfie-heaven. Rivers of tourists, in the off season. I arrived there during carnival so many people were dressed in clothes of the 1700, wore masks which crammed the store windows, and seemed to have fun. After two weeks this subsided, but the tourist level remained, uh, high, in my view unbearable etc. Meantime I got a pass to visit 20 churches, and visited them all, taking many photos. And I went to a few museums, which confirmed my general view that I don’t much care for the Venetian school of painting – Tintoretto, Canaletto, Titian, etc.

Venice is the opposite of Tirana, a place of constant visual pleasure and amazement, never mind the tourists. I was more than happy to have the time to explore many parts I’d never seen before, walking all over, and get a better grasp of the place than I’d had from the handful of brief stays I’d had before (three times for the film festival as I recall). The other residents in the place I stayed were unsocial, though I’d sent them an email saying I was a social sort, though it was hardly necessary and I can be alone as easily as not. One woman from NYC did meet me, and I took her on a night time stroll early in her stay – she seemed afraid of getting lost in the Venetian maze – and then she dropped from sight. Another man never materialized. Proof I do not understand the world.

Another woman I met who was a ticket lady in a church, and we had a talk and she was “oh, you are famous and what a coincidence”, and I met some friends of hers, and she too vanished (she seemed religious/mystically minded and I made clear I wasn’t inclined to think in those terms – probably that pushed her away).

So I spent most my time alone. The tourist-inflated prices for going out to eat were way too high, plus the tourist rush makes for cooking for people who know no better, making for generic “local” food that isn’t really very good, so I didn’t go out at all. Besides I don’t like eating alone, out or not, so just necessary for living suffices if I am alone. To be enjoyable eating is a social matter for me; otherwise it is just utilitarian. Painted a fair bit (64 watercolors), chewed my mental cud about history, art, Catholicism, and other things. A nice month. I doubt I spent $500.

On leaving went for a short visit to my “famiglia” in Cassina Amata, nearby Milano. They’d picked me up hitch-hiking in 1961, and magically became my family afterwards. We are all still somewhat puzzled, amazed, and happy with it. While there visited oldest sister, in 90’s, in an “assisted living” home (not a nice one), and another friend of family in a different one, much nicer.

Then went to Bologna for a night to visit a dear friend there, Pina, a woman who is deep into vegetarian cooking and things related. She has written a lovely book of recipes, Vegetaliana, and runs a kind of restaurant, and, in my view, works much too hard. One night, seeing her far too briefly, and then went on to a friend who lives in a tiny town near Ravenna.

Christian Ravaglioli. Musician. We ended up making a video which I think will come out nicely, a kind of portrait of him, with him doing some of his most recent music, quite beautiful in my view, and playing an array of instruments. When quite young, 25, he was an oboeist for La Scala in Milano for two years, but he quit it as it just was not creative and he is an artist. And an amazing musician/composer. 5 days with him, a pure pleasure.

Then took train to Roma, hoping to see friends there, though at first seemed it might be a bust and then yesterday, equinox, I managed to see all but one who had gone to Argentina two days before; she teaches tango and was in my long ago Roma film, Uno a me, uno a te.… Arriving I went from Termini, the big main train station to a nearby place I’d gotten on Booking.Com. Went to address, and the doorbell button beside the name was not broken but smashed and just not there. I rang other buttons to get in but no responses. After a bit a man came out and I went in, up to the second floor where place was and… no sign, no nada. Stuck. I ended going back to the station and ended in a Starbucks to get a working wi-fi and called friend who I was supposed to meet that evening, and she came to get me and put me up the two nights. Lucia, who is a photographer (works among other things for Venice Film Festival) and was in my Roma film Uno a Me, uno a te…. That evening we then went to see Eliana Miglio, who also was in that film, and another later one, La Lunga Ombra. We had a nice 3 hour get together, and they – who hadn’t seen each other for ages – talked of family problems while I mainly listened. I already was privy to the family stories. Wonderful evening.

Next day I met with a friend, Guiglielmo, in S Lorenzo, student district near Termini. He is partner of a dancer, Oretta, whom Marcella and I met in Seoul, who was there to do a one-month workshop and we became friends; in Roma we met Guiglielmo, who works in film. So had a nice chat and catch-up over a modest pranzo, and then my friend Edoardo Albinati found time to come motorino over for an hour of talk – he’d earlier said he wasn’t available owing to things he had to do. I’d written him a note saying, well, sorry to miss, might be last time, I am 80 etc (he is 67) and he found the time and then had to go deal with a house he had bought in Tuscany. He is a writer, who worked on scripting my Roma film, Uno a me, and was also in later film, one Eliana was in. Six years ago he won Italy’s biggest literary award, the Premio Strega. He now writes scripts for major directors in Italy and has a new book in the works. He seemed in good form and I was very happy to be able to have an hour with him.

Then walked to the Palazzo di Esposizioni, half an hour on foot away, and met with another friend, Marco Delogu, who also was in La Lunga Ombra, a photographer well-known there, plus hustler/organizer. When I lived in Rome he organized a handful of photo exhibits, one of which I had something in. Now he is director of the Palazzo di Esposizioni, one of the major arts exhibition places in the city. We had a nice chat, then popped in car over to Isola Tiburtina, very near where I lived 3 years in 1998-2001, where he did a little hustle involving a bishop (!). He invited me to a dinner that night and Lucia and I went to it, a little art-world gathering literally around corner where I once lived, and played with my daughter Clara.

The visit to Roma this time prompted a flood of memories, about living there, Clara, life flowing by like the Tiber. It was a good time, if all too brief. Marco made a proposal which may see me back to Europe far earlier than imagined. See if it works out.

Arrived in London today, to spend 4 days and then to USA for a trip that will reduce my mind to a travel smear ! Will pick up from this in 3 months.